Seminars for Males
Once again, the female staff will be offering courses to men of all marital status. Please note: the names of some courses have been changed. Attendance in at least 10 of the following courses in mandatory.
- Combating stupidity.
- You Can Do Housework, Too.
- PMS - Lerning When To Keep Your Mouth Shut.
- How to Fill an Ice Tray.
- We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas - Give Us Money!
- Understanding the Female Response to You Coming in Drunk at 4 AM.
- Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formally titled "Don't Wash My Silks")
- Parenting - No It Doesn't End with Conception.
- Get a Life - Learn to Cook.
- How Not to Act Like An Asshole When You're Obviously Wrong.
- Spelling - Even You Can Get if Right.
- Understanding your Financial Incompetance.
- You - The Weaker Sex.
- Reasons to Give Flowers.
- How to Stay Awake After Sex.
- Why It Is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere But the Washroom.
- Garbage - Getting It to the Curb.
- #101 - You Can Fall Asleep Without It If You Really Try.
- #201 - "The Morning Dilemma" - If It's Awake, Take a Shower.
- I'll Wear It If I Damn Well Please.
- How To Put the Toilet Lid Down.
- 'The Weekend' and 'Sports' Are not Synonyms.
- Give Me A Break! - Why We Know Your Excuses Are Bullshit.
- How To Go Shopping With Your Mate Without Getting Lost.
- The Remote Control - Overcoming Your Dependency.
- Romanticism - Other Ideas Besides Sex.
- Helpful Postural Hints For Couch Potatoes.
- Mothers-in-Law - They Are People Too.
- How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children.
- You Too Can Be A Designated Driver.
- Male Bonding - Leaving Your Friends At Home.
- Honest, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson (Especially When Naked).
- Changing Your Underwear - It Really Works.
- The Attainable Goal - Omitting "@&$^@#!" From Your Vocabulary.
- Fluffing The Blankets After Farting is Not Necessary.
Seminars for Females
In response to the seminar offerings by the female staff, the male staff has created a set of courses for females of all marital status. The following courses will be offered:
- General Education:
- GE101: Why the Toilet Seat Has Hinges
- GE102: Checkbook Balancing (formerly "Remedial Third Grade Arithmetic")
- GE103: How to Drive a Nail Without Breaking One
- GE104: How to Parallel Park
- GE105: Why Going to the Bathroom is Not a Group Activity
- GE106: Road Maps and Other Crutches for Spineless Wimps
- GE107: Why a Bad Sports Telecast is Better Than a Good Soap Opera
- Home Economics:
- HE101a: Over-Laundering - Why Clothing Wears Out Prematurely
- HE101b: Over-Vacuuming - Why Carpets Wear Out Prematurely
- HE101c: Over-Dusting - Why Furniture Wears Out Prematurely
- HE101d: Over-Washing - Why Dishes Wear Out Prematurely
- HE102: How to Avoid Spending Money You Don't Have (formerly "How to Cut Credit Cards in Half")
- HE103: Overcoming "The Imelda Syndrome" (formerly called "How Many Feet Do You Have, Anyway?")
- Interpersonal Relationships:
- IR101: How to Say "No" With Kindness and Appreciation
- IR102: Why Men Enjoy Grocery Shopping About As Much As Women Enjoy Watching Roller Derby
- IR103: Submission - a Biblical Perspective (prereq: SE101a or b)
- IR104: Marriage - The Number One Cause of Divorce
- IR105: Preposterous Mood Swings (PMS) (formerly "Keeping Your Personal Problems from Ruining Everyone Else's Life Too")
- IR106: Understanding Men's Revulsion to Tampon Commercials (formerly called "We Know What That Little 'Plastic Applicator' is REALLY For!")
- Sex Education:
- SE101a: How to Say "Yes"
- SE101b: How to Say "No" But Mean "Yes"
- SE102: Sex - It's Not Just for Breakfast Anymore
- SE103: Who Belongs on Top and Why
- SE104: Lingerie - The Gift that Keeps On Giving
- SE105: Sexual Alternatives for "That Time of the Month" (formerly titled "Any Old Port in a Storm")
- SE106: Foreplay (not a required course, for extra credit only)
