Beer's eKeg Main
	Beer's eKeg Laughs

Factoids

• 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
• If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
• No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, and purple.
• Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down - hence the expression "to get fired."
• Canada is an Indian word meaning "Big Village."
• There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
• Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
• "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
• The term "the whole 9 yards" came from WWII fighter pilots in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards."
• The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
• The word "samba" means "to rub navels together."
• The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.
• The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
• Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
• Until 1965, driving was done on the left-hand side on roads in Sweden. The conversion to right-hand was done on a weekday at 5pm. All traffic stopped as people switched sides. This time and day were chosen to prevent accidents where drivers would have gotten up in the morning and been too sleepy to realize that *this* was the day of the changeover.
• The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
• Dr. Seuss pronounced "Seuss" such that it rhymed with "rejoice."
• In 'Casablanca,' Humphrey Bogart never said "Play it again, Sam."
• Sherlock Holmes never said "Elementary, my dear Watson."
• More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.
• The term "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye" is from Ancient Rome. The only rule during wrestling matches was, "No eye gouging." Everything else was allowed, but the only way to be disqualified was to poke someone's eye out.
• A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
• The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
• Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.
• Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.
• Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
• The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from and old English law that stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
• An ostrich's eye is bigger that its brain.
• The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
• If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5,000 times, but more like 4,990. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.
• The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. The only other word with the same amount of letters is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses, its plural. Hydroxydesoxycorticosterone and hydroxydeoxycorticosterones are the largest anagrams.
• Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula."
• Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
• Ben and Jerry's send the waste from making ice cream to local pig farmers to use as feed. Pigs love the stuff, except for one flavor: Mint-Oreo.
• Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
• Wilma Flintstone's maiden name was Wilma Slaghoopal, and Betty Rubble's Maiden name was Betty Jean Mcbricker.
• A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
• If NASA sent birds into space they would soon die, they need gravity to swallow.
• Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
• The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life".
• It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up its stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of its mouth. Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again.
• Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves when they rode past their king. This custom has become the modern military salute.
• Sylvia Miles had the shortest performance ever nominated for an Oscar with "Midnight Cowboy." Her entire role lasted only six minutes.
• Charles Lindbergh took only four sandwiches with him on his famous transatlantic flight.
• Goethe couldn't stand the sound of barking dogs and could only write if he had an apple rotting in the drawer of his desk.
• 101 Dalmatians, Peter Pan (Wendy), and Sleeping Beauty are the only three Disney cartoon features with both parents that are present and don't die throughout the movie.
• 'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
• The Baby Ruth candy bar was actually named after Grover Cleveland's baby daughter, Ruth.
• Armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always all the same sex.
• Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy.
• To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs -- it will let you go instantly.
• Reindeer like to eat bananas.
• A group of unicorns is called a blessing. Twelve or more cows are known as a "flink." A group of frogs is called an army. A group of rhinos is called a crash. A group of kangaroos is called a mob. A group of whales is called a pod. A group of geese is called a gaggle. A group of ravens is called a murder. A group of officers is called a mess. A group of larks is called an exaltation. A group of owls is called a parliament.
• Physicist Murray Gell-Mann named the sub-atomic particles known as quarks for a random line in James Joyce, "Three quarks for Muster Mark!"
• The phrase "sleep tight" derives from the fact that early mattresses were filled with straw and held up with rope stretched across the bedframe. A tight sleep was a comfortable sleep.
• "Three dog night" (attributed to Australian Aborigines) came about because on especially cold nights these nomadic people needed three dogs (dingos, actually) to keep from freezing.
• Gilligan of Gilligan's Island had a first name that was only used once on the never-aired pilot show. His first name was Willy. The skipper's real name on Gilligan's Island is Jonas Grumby. It was mentioned once in the first episode on their radio's newscast about the wreck.
• In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
• Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII. If captured, they could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape.
• Ivory bar soap floating was a mistake. They had been overmixing the soap formula causing excess air bubbles that made it float. Customers wrote and told how much they loved that it floated, and it has floated ever since.
• Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself. (It must have been fun proving this - B)
• The saying "it's so cold out there it could freeze the balls off a brass monkey" came from when they had old cannons like ones used in the Civil War. The cannonballs were stacked in a pyramid formation, called a brass monkey. When it got extremely cold outside they would crack and break away from the stack... Thus the saying.
• Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself.
• The Sanskrit word for "war" means "desire for more cows."
• If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
• Nearly a third of all bottled drinking water purchased in the US is contaminated with bacteria.
• Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over 1million descendents.
• You are more likely to be struck by lightning that to be eaten by a shark. You are more likely to be infected by flesh-eating bacteria than you are to be struck by lightning.
• If you urinate when swimming in a South American river, you may encounter the candiru. Drawn to warmth, this tiny fish is known to follow a stream of urine to its source, swim inside the body, and flare is barbed fins. It will remain firmly embedded in the flesh until surgically removed.
• The soft plastic headphones used on airplanes create a warm, moist environment in the ear canal that is ideal for breeding bacteria. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
• On a plane, if the passenger in your seat on the incoming flight had serious gas, then you are sitting on a cushion full of disease-causing microbes.
• Four sunken nuclear submarines sit at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. One, a Russian sub resting in deep water off of Bermuda, holds 16 live nuclear warheads. Scientists and oceanographers are unsure what the impact of the escaping plutonium will have, but warn that corrosion could create the proper chemical environment for a massive nuclear chain reaction.
• In 1994, electromagnetic interference (EMI) from a nearby cellular telephone captivated a power wheelchair at a scenic vista in Colorado, sending the passenger over a cliff.
• More people working in advertising died on the job in 1996 than died while working in petroleum refining.
• In September 1997, a basketball player for Southeastern Oklahoma State University was killed near Paris, Texas, when a flying cow hit the car in which he was riding, causing the driver to lose control and crash. The cow had been sent airborne when it was hit by another car.
• Queen Victoria liked chocolate so much that she sent 500,000 pounds of it to her troops one Christmas.
• On his fourth voyage to the New World, in 1502, Christopher Columbus was the first European to taste chocolate.
• Americans eat about 10 pounds of chocolate a year per capita. The Swiss eat 22 pounds per year.
• In Hershey, Pennsylvania, the streetlights along "Chocolate Avenue" are in the shape of Hershey Kisses.
• Chocolate in a blue wrapper won't sell in Shanghai or Hong Kong because the Chinese associate blue with death.
• Chocolate's scientific name, theobroma, means food of the gods.
• Casanova considered chocolate an elixir of love.
• The first song played on Armed Forces Radio during operation Desert Shield was "Rock the Casbah" by the Clash.
• The musical group ABBA got its name from the first letter from each of their first names (Agnetha, Bjorn, Benny, Anni-frid.)
• John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.
• The Beatles song "Dear Prudence" was written about Mia Farrow's sister, Prudence, when she wouldn't come out and play with Mia and the Beatles at a religious retreat in India.
• The world's largest drum set, consisting of 308 pieces, was built by rock musician Dan McCourt of Pontiac, Michigan, in 1994. It consisted of 153 drums, 77 cymbals, 33 cowbells, 12 hi-hats, 8 tambourines, 6 wood blocks, 3 gongs, 3 bell trees, 2 maracas, 2 triangles, 2 rain sticks, 2 bells, 1 ratchet, 1 set of chimes, 1 xylophone, 1 affuche and 1 doorbell.
• Most Americans' car horns beep in the key of F. Telephone dial tones are also in F.
• Scientists studying the variance in the genetic material mtDNA in various modern populations have concluded that we all descended from one common female ancestor, whom scientists refer to as "Eve". (National Geographic, Sept. 1997)
• Unlike in many states, adultery of any kind (including oral sex) is a crime in Washington, D.C., punishable by a fine and up to 180 days in jail.
• Bureaucracy
  The Lord's Prayer: 66 words
  Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address: 286 words
  American Declaration of Independence: 1,322 words
  U.S. government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words
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• Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200
• Average number of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000
• Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60
• Percent of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54
• Average amount of semen per ejaculation: 1 to 2 teaspoons
• Number of calories per teaspoon of semen: 7
• Dairy products are said to create a foul taste
• Asparagus is said to give semen the foulest taste of all
• Acidic fruits and alcohol give semen a pleasant, sugary flavor
• Chemically processed liquors give semen an extremely acidic taste
  ~~~~~~~
• Film director Alfred Hitchcock had no belly button. It was sewn shut one time after surgery.
• Three of the six Three Stooges (got that?) were real-life brothers: Moe, Curly and Shemp.
• The midwife made a mistake when TV talk show host Oprah Winfrey was born. Oprah's name was supposed to be Orpah, after Ruth's sister in the Bible, but the midwife misspelled it on the birth certificate.
• Two men tied for "least likely to succeed" when they were students together at California's Pasadena Playhouse acting school. Ever heard of Dustin Hoffman and Gene Hackman?
• Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
• The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans.
• A full-grown bear can run as fast as a horse.
• Lorne Greene had one of his nipples bitten off by an alligator while hosting "Lorne Greene's Wild Kingdom."
• In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10. Subliminally, the configuration of the hands represents a smile.
• The clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
• At the dawn of the second millennium, the Indian mathematician Siddhantas recognized the importance of the "zero" by introducing it into a decimal (ten-based) number system. When the decimal system was translated into Arabic, Islamic mathematicians began using it, and it eventually spread to Europe.
• The world's youngest doctor is Balamurali Ambati of Hollis, New York. Born 29 July 1977, Ambati graduated from the Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City at age 17 years, 10 months. He graduated from high school at age 12 and gained his bachelor's degree from New York University at 13 years, 10 months.
• At age 21, Adam Rainer was 3 feet, 10 1/2 inches tall. Suddenly he started growing, and ten years later he was 7 feet, 1 3/4 inches tall. Born in Graz, Austria in 1899, Rainer died on 4 March 1950 at a height of 7 feet, 8 inches. He was the only person in medical history to have been classified both as a dwarf and a giant.
• The fastest messages transmitted by the human nervous system travel at a rate of 180 to 200 miles per hour. Even in blondes.
• Almonds are members of the peach family.
• Cucumbers are 96 percent water.
• Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
• Fully ripened cranberries can be dribbled like a basketball.
• Olive trees were sacred in ancient Athens. Their fruit belonged to the state, and death was the penalty for chopping one down.
• It was considered elegant for aristocratic ladies of the 16th century to let their pubic hair grow as long as possible so it could be pomaded and adorned with bows and ribbon.
• In 1609, a doctor named Wecker found a corpse in Bologna with two penises. Since then, there have been eighty documented cases of men so endowed.
• The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
• Coca-Cola was originally green.
• Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
• It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.
• Smartest dogs:
  1) Scottish border collie
  2) Poodle
  3) Golden retriever
  Dumbest: Afghan hound.
• Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.
• Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.
• City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong
• State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
• Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%.
• Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
• Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33
• Average number of days a West German goes without washing his underwear: 7
• Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same woman if they had it to do all over again: 80%.
• Percentage of American women who say they'd marry the same man: 50%.
• Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400.
• Average number of people airborne over the US at any given hour: 61,000.
• Percentage of Americans who have visited Disneyland or Walt Disney World:70%
• Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
• Only President to win a Pulitzer: John F. Kennedy for Profiles in Courage.
• Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
• The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
• The youngest pope was 11 years old.
• Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation.
• First novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
• A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
• In the 1940s, the FCC assigned television's Channel 1 to mobile services (two-way radios in taxicabs, for instance) but did not re-number the other channel assignments. That is why your TV set has channels 2 and up, but no channel 1.
• The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
• The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
• "Hang On Sloopy" is the official rock song of Ohio.
• Did you know that there are coffee flavored PEZ?
• The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.
• The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie." (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)
• When opossums are playing 'possum, they are not playing. They actually pass out from sheer terror.
• The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
• Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades-King David, Clubs-Alexander the Great, Hearts-Charlemagne, and Diamonds-Julius Caesar.
• The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.
• The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.
• The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
• The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.
• If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months, and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat up one cup of coffee.
• If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
• The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out of the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
• A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
• Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
• Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
• On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
• The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
• A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.
• The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
• Polar bears are left handed.
• The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
• A cockroach will live 9 days without its head before it starves to death.
• The male praying mantis cannot copulate while it's head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
• Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
• Butterflies taste with their feet.
• Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
• Starfish don't have brains.

Contributed by
Hugh Moore
Andrea Beeks
Tom Orr
Heath Boe