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Beer's eKeg Main |
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Beer's eKeg Laughs |
An old farmer wants his son to go to Michigan State, but the son's IQ is too high. Since the farmer really wants his son to be an Spartan he takes him to the MSU Vet School and asks to use an IQ-reducing machine. Although the machine is experimental and not meant for humans, they decide the risk acceptable. They strap the son into the machine and turn it on. His IQ starts dropping. 130...110...100...90...80...70...60... When the scientist flips the OFF switch, nothing happens. The son's IQ keeps dropping. 40...30...10..0!!!!. The scientist finally pulls the plug and stops the machine. The farmer runs to his son and shakes him awake, "Son, say something!" Dazed, the son looks him right in the eye and says, "Go Blue!"
Two guys standing at a urinal. One guy walks away and away from the sink. The other guy says "Excuse me, but at Michigan, we are taught to wash our hands after using the facilities. The first guys says, "Well excuse me, but at Ohio State we are taught not to pee on our hands."
One day in the Michigan part of hell, it suddenly turned cold and icy. "What happened?" asked one UM alum. Another alum thought for a moment, then said, "We must have won the national championship"
Overheard in AnnArbor; "Will the woman who left her eleven children at Michigan stadium please come pick them up - They're beating the Wolverines 22 -0.
UM is playing at OSU, and they have a first down with three minutes left in the half. An OSU fan sets off a firecracker, and OSU, thinking it's the end of the half, runs off the field. Three plays later, UM punts.
Did you hear that Charles Woodson is expected to miss Saturday's game? He heard that he may be a first round draft pick so he fled to Canada.
A Michigan football player was nearly killed in a horrible horseback riding accident. He was thrown off the horse and almost got trampled. Thank god the K-Mart manager came out and unplugged it.
A University of Michigan fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."
Two Michigan cheerleaders were reading their daily newspaper when one of them noticed a headline that read: TWO BRAZILIAN SOLDIERS KILLED. She thought for a minute, and then whispered to her friend, "Psssst... how many is a brazilian?"
A little boy and his mother were walking through a Michigan cemetery when they came upon a headstone that read: "Here lies a Michigan graduate and a good man." The little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why did they bury two people in there?"
An Ohio State student and a Michigan student are walking down the road when the Ohio State student says, "How sad...A dead bird." The Michigan student looks up and says, "Where, where?"
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a Michigan joke?" The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Michigan alumni. The guy sitting next to me is 6 ' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a Michigan alumni. The fella next to him is 6 ' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a Michigan alumni. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?" The first guy says, "NAH, not if I'm gonna have to explain it THREE times."
Some friends came to visit us in Dublin and commented that it sure was windy in Ohio. We had to explain that it's really not very windy at all in Ohio it's just that Michigan sucks so badly.
Did you here that Jim Tressel surpassed Ted Turner as the largest land owner in the United States? Jim owns the whole state of Michigan
During a press conference yesterday afternoon, coach Lloyd Carr said he will only be dressing 32 players for their game this Saturday's OSU-Michigan game. "Yeah," he said, "the other guys are just going to have to learn to dress themselves."
